Symphonic Swinette

Sounds you will never forget

Normally, one would take a damaged stringed instrument to a luthier.  But Dr. Taylor prefers to perform his own luthier work.  He trusts only the digital prowess of his surgeon’s hands to repair such a delicate and valuable instrument.  The swinette requires its privacy to recuperate from repairs .

In the past, you would have been referred to the answer to question 2.  However, recently Sotheby’s and Christie’s appraised Dr. Taylor’s swinette at 482 million dollars and 506 million dollars, respectively.  That appraisal does not include the very fine case which houses Dr. Taylor’s swinette. 

The phrase “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it” has its origin in Dr. Taylor’s performance contract.

Frequently Asked Questions

A swinette is a musical instrument which is made by stretching a cat’s whisker across the posterior of a pig.  The swinette is played by plucking the whisker with one’s teeth.  The virtuoso creates tonal variations by squeezing the pig at appropriate places in the abdominal region.  

1.  What is a swinette?

 

2.  What is Dr. Taylor’s performance fee?

3.  How much does a swinette cost?

4.  Where does one take a broken swinette to be repaired?

4.  How does one protect a swinette when it is not in use?

The swinette is an extremely delicate instrument and should never be exposed to extremes in temperature or humidity.  Dr. Taylor always houses his swinette in the very fine custom case that he commissioned for it.  That unique, velvet-lined case is pictured here opened.